


He Wants It All

by gala_apples



Category: Glee
Genre: Friends With Benefits, M/M, Public Sex, Roughhousing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 19:39:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jake wants to do some Not-Gay fooling around, and Ryder conveniently forgets to mention he's pansexual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Wants It All

**Author's Note:**

> Nubianamy and I both decided to write [this prompt](http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/41745.html?thread=56243473#t56243473) with opposing points of view. Hers can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/714370).
> 
> It also turned out that we'd both written the entire fic listening to a mashup of Call Me Maybe and Head Like A Hole we found on Tumblr. The title comes from a lyric.

It starts in the weight room. Ryder’s sitting on the bench lifting a twenty pound dumbbell. He’ll do it with his left arm until it gets tired, then switch to his right. It’s not the most efficient way. If Sam was paying attention to him he’d probably be complaining, but Sam’s lost in his own reps, and this is the way Ryder likes to do it. It gives him more time to not-think before he has to start his stupid homework.

When Jake comes over and straddles the bench Ryder tenses a little. They’re friends, good friends, but there’s this underside to it where they’re both aware of how much they want to take from the other, and have to actively work to not do it.

“What’s up, man?”

“So, I was thinking...”

“‘Kay?” 

“And, uh...”

Jake doesn’t usually need to be prodded into sharing his thoughts. This trailing off thing is making Ryder a bit nervous. “What, man?”

“So, you know how bros sometimes help out bros? Like Blaine and Sam? Well. I’m not really getting anywhere with Marley, and you don’t have a girl at all. So it would make sense if we wanted- no, not wanted. If we _decided_ to help each other out.”

It’s a complete fucking blindside. Out of fucking nowhere Jake has repeated something that Ryder’s positive was taken out of context, because Sam’s definitely straight and wouldn’t be helping out Blaine. Also Sam’s dating Brittany and Ryder’s certain she puts out, so that doesn’t make sense either. Jake’s internalised this crazy idea, mulled it over, and _means_ it.

“Uh,” he says after a minute, just to break up the silence. Even if he’s not sure what to think, he definitely doesn’t want Jake to think he’s having a big gay freakout.

“It wouldn’t be gay. Whatever we did. ‘Cause we’d just be two straight bros helping each other through a dry patch.”

Jake wants to fool around with him, but not in a gay way. There are probably about five things wrong in just that one sentence, but Ryder keeps his mouth shut. There are times to point out inherent flaws in a plan, and times to shut up and let a straight dude kiss you. That’s probably totally a lyric in that Turn Turn Turn song his dad listens to all the time. Some of Ryder’s first memories are of staying up late with Dad and watching those Time Life greatest hits of the decade commercials. He knows two lyrics of every song of the sixties, seventies and eighties.

“So,” Jaks asks, insistently. His knee is against Ryder’s thigh. His leg isn’t visibly bouncing, but Ryder can feel the movement of denim against his skin. He’s not sure when his shorts rode up. He wouldn’t have even thought about it before. He can already tell this is going to be one of those moments where everything in his life lines up like Before Not Gay Friends With Benefits and After Not Gay Friends With Benefits. In the After Ryder’s going to have to think about this sort of thing, about whether or not what he’s doing is provocative.

“Yeah. Sure, I guess. Just to take the edge off.”

Apparently that is the cue for Jake to lean in and twist and kiss him. Ryder’s mouth was already a little open, so Jake gets his tongue in before Ryder has a chance to even blink.

Ryder didn’t think he meant right now. Kinda dumb of him, in hindsight. Jake’s a player, underneath it all, underneath the supposed love he has for Marley. Why wouldn’t ‘sure, sometime’ mean ‘okay right now’ in his mind?

This could become a Before and After too, Ryder realises. Before Jake’s best friend rejected him, and after. He could take this from Jake, take his confidence. He doesn’t want to. This isn’t something Ryder feels comfortable stealing. It would cut too deep. Besides, Jake’s tongue is wet and quick in his mouth. Ryder hasn’t had this kind of kiss since the summer, and it doesn’t really matter to him that it’s coming from a guy.

“Turn to face me,” Jake murmurs after he pulls away. 

It takes Ryder a second to figure out what he means, then he turns and straddles the bench the way Jake is. The bench is a bit too wide for it to be entirely comfortable. It’s a dumb request too, if Jake’s intent is for them to get closer. Their knees are jammed against each others, which makes them like four feet apart. He really has to lean forward to get his lips back on Jake’s. It’s something Ryder’s willing to strain for, but as soon as he can think again, as soon as Jake stops kissing him and he can think, he’ll figure out a better way for them to kiss. Which doesn’t actually make sense, which is proof that Jake needs to stop kissing him so he can think.

Then Jake scoots forward and hooks his legs over Ryder’s. All of a sudden they’re junk to junk, almost chest to chest. Jake’s leaning back a bit, one of his arms propping him up so there’s less strain on his abdomen, but it’s nothing for Ryder to lean forward a little more. They’re slotted into place, and it just works.

Nothing’s ever enough for Jake though. Before too long he’s breaking the kiss to demand “take off your fuckin’ shirt.”

Ryder does, because at this point there’s no reason not to. They’ve moved beyond things that can be explained away, at least in his mind, so if Jake’s okay with it then he might as well. It’s the same reason Ryder lets Jake push him onto his back a minute later. The bench has no padding, but Ryder’s skinny enough that he fits the width of it. Jake’s position on top of him is a little more uncomfortable, but it’s not really Ryder’s problem. Jake had the choice between comfort and control, and he picked control.

A few minutes into this new making out while dry-humping thing, Ryder hears the clang of equipment being moved. He pushes on Jake’s shoulders and tries to twist his head away to tell him, but Jake just curls both hands around his biceps and follows his mouth. And then it’s too late. Sam is standing there, staring. They’re caught.

Ryder doesn’t even care for himself. Not really. Blaine’s gay, Brittany’s bi. Jake’s brother had a foursome with another girl-guy couple, so there was probably touching. Brittany’s ex and that blond chick who was Jake’s brother’s baby-mama hooked up at the wedding. No one’s ever asked Unique if she’s straight or a lesbian, but Ryder has his suspicions about her and Sugar. And that’s not even counting his cousins. He’s got so many it’s statistically impossible that several of them aren’t some shade of GLBT. There are a thousand things Ryder’d be more upset at being accused of over being accused of being bisexual. It’s basically accurate, anyway.

No, Ryder cares for Jake’s sake. Jake is not going to react well when this becomes a ‘remember that one time when’ joke. Glee’s decently insular. As long as Kitty doesn’t find out the rest of Glee wouldn’t leak it to all of McKinley. But nine people knowing will still be enough to kill him.

Sam opens his big mouth, and Ryder tenses. He really hopes if Jake starts swinging fists it’ll be up at Sam, not down at him. “Oh. Cool. Have fun.”

It takes Ryder a minute to process the response. He’s never felt this confused before, apart from stuff that deals with reading. By the time it makes sense to him, Sam’s left the weight room and Jake’s thrusts have sped up. Jake’s not traumatised at all, and Ryder knows him well enough to know his thought process, and why he isn’t. He’s also positive that Jake’s wrong. That little scene didn’t mean what Jake thinks it means. That wasn’t a _good job on continuing the ‘means nothing’ tradition_ comment, that’s Sam being a straight ally. Ryder’s heard stories. Apparently Sam was the first guy in Glee to not be squicked about singing a duet with Kurt, Blaine’s old boyfriend. Sam just saw two downlow boyfriends getting it on and decided to give them their space.

Ryder knows Jake’s getting the wrong impression. He just doesn’t really care. Jake’s all sweaty on top of him, and his dick is hard and excruciatingly rubbing against Jake’s pelvis. That’s not leading him on, is it? Knowing the situation is different, but doing it anyway? It kinda seems like it is, but Jake’s not stopping either, so he’s happy, so what’s it matter?

Ryder lets himself come first. No doubt Jake’ll think it’s because he’s a stud and Ryder’s practically a virgin. Maybe that’s part of it, Ryder can admit he has less experience than Jake, which includes holding off until the partner’s satisfied. But mostly it’s just that he’s selfish. If Jake has a big gay freakout once there’s fluids, Ryder wants to make sure he’s gotten his fluids out first.

Jake coming is oddly anticlimactic. He just grinds down especially hard, then slumps, then rolls himself completely off Ryder and lets himself fall the few feet to the floor. A minute after that he swears. “Shit. I already changed into my street clothes. Gonna have to wear my shorts home.”

“My brother can probably give you a ride,” Ryder offers. Walking to the bus in shorts in March will suck.

“Cool. Thanks.”

***

“So we need some rules,” Jake says.

Ryder looks at the graduated cylinders in front of him. “Uh, I think we’re just supposed to mix things and test the PH? Or something? It’s on the handout, if you wanna pass me my binder?”

“Dude. No. Not about the stupid assignment. About our bros thing.”

What the...Ryder twists on his stool to look at Jake. It’s uneven, almost all of the stools are, so he jiggles a bit on the way. “Like, the _bros_ thing?”

“Yeah. I mean it’s great to say it’s not gay, but we gotta make sure we don’t actually get gay. So, rules.”

Ryder has the urge to pull out his phone and text Blaine for help. Or his cousin Emery. Or the guy that wrote Queer As Folk. Or God, maybe. Because what the _fuck_. “I, uh, didn’t think it was a regular thing? Like that was just a one off?” Jake didn’t text him about it later that night, and he hasn’t said anything about it in the last week.

“Marley’s still PG. You’re still hopelessly single.”

“That’s true.”

“Okay then. So, no butt stuff, obviously. No dick-in-mouth action. We can make out, but I’m not in fucking love with you or anything. You have any more?”

How are they talking about this in the middle of class? How is this a thing Jake’s doing? It’s not like Ryder’s against the idea of talking it out, in general. His cousin Molly was into BDSM way before 50 Shades got big, and whenever someone asks her about her craziest experience she always just turns it around to ‘nothing’s crazy when you negotiate’. So he gets the concept of talking. But if Jake’s so freakin’ concerned that he doesn’t do anything gay, so no one dare think he’s gay, why the hell is he talking about this in a classroom with fifteen other students? Not to mention the grinding with Sam in the room. His exhibitionism kink is gonna be the death of him. Or his reputation. Whatever, for Jake it’s basically the same thing.

But Jake’s waiting for an answer, and if Ryder doesn’t reply Jake’s gonna smack him with the binder, or do something else that attracts everyone’s attention. At least now they’re only one of nine sets of partners doing the same assignment. “Don’t pull on my hair. It’s not gay, I just don’t like it.”

“Cool. Some no kinky shit sub-rules. That’s fine. Don’t like, try to spank me. Because I will slap you right in the face.”

“Wasn’t really thinking about it.” Or well, he wasn’t. Now he is. It’s the Don’t Think About Elephants effect. Ryder’s pretty sure Jake would squirm and call him names the whole time, but then he’d come and blush and get all pissy and embarrassed.

“Cool then.”

Ryder’s stiff. He squeezes the black tip of the eye dropper about thirty times before Jake elbows him. “What’s your problem?”

Ryder shrugs. “Last time there was stuff right after we talked. I was preparing.”

“We’re in the middle of class. I’m not giving you a handie under the table. Pour the...whatever it is.”

Frankly Ryder doesn’t see a lot of difference between a weight room and a chemistry lab. He’s surprised that Jake does, considering his impulse control problems. But since Jake’s actually siding on the sane side of the fence, Ryder’s not really planning on arguing it.

***

Ryder’s got rug burn over at least seventy percent of his body. It’s sort of ridiculous, and sort of awkwardly hot. He considers himself pretty damn open minded, but he never thought irritated skin would be a turnon.

For the last twenty minutes he and Jake have been rolling around naked. Literally. Ryder’s been over and under about thirty times. It’s a good thing he vacuumed yesterday, under his mom’s Clean or Die chore orders. Otherwise they’d both have a light crusting of crumbs. 

It’s not that Ryder wants to be on top all the time. It really doesn’t matter to him much at all. It matters to Jake though, and it’s fun to see his reactions when Ryder’s got him pinned. Mostly they involve Jake turning the kisses into bites, and scrambling for leverage to flip them yet again. Each time Jake manages, Ryder’s hips or shoulder blades or forearms scrape against the carpet. The sensation leaves him shivering.

Jake’s on top of him now, kissing him with satisfaction. Their dicks are pressing against each other, and Ryder could be jerking them both off. Instead he decides it’s time for another power move. He hooks his leg around Jake’s and tries to flip them that way. When it’s not quite enough to move Jake’s weight, Jake laughs arrogantly into his mouth. Ryder swipes his tongue over Jake’s, then uses his secret weapon. He grabs an asscheek in both hands and uses Jake’s startled reaction to displace him and get them both on their sides.

“Banana!”

Ryder pauses in his continued thrusting. He’s pretty sure if Jake had Tourettes he would have told him when he told the truth about his reading problems. “Uh, what?”

“Your finger is like a half inch from my asshole. I’m safewording.”

Ryder pulls away immediately, going as far as to sit up and cross his legs. If Molly ever found out he ignored a safeword, she’d like, cane him or something. Except to be fair to him, he didn’t know that was a safeword. “Did we talk about that and I just forgot, or?”

“New rule. If things are getting too gay, we can safeword out. Mine’s banana.”

There’s something kind of funny about Jake’s too gay word being one of the most phallic things in existence. “Mine’s turtle.” He’s never, ever going to use it. Never. But it’ll be weird if he doesn’t have one too. “For the record though, wasn’t trying to finger you.”

“Good. No butt stuff was the number one rule.” Jake offers a smile. “Don’t worry, I’m not pissed. Come back over here and give me a handjob.”

Ryder crawls over, sensitive skin hissing with each movement. Once he gets to Jake, the boy in question gets up on his knees too. Ryder wraps his hand around Jake’s cock and starts jerking him. Jake mirrors the action. Yeah, Ryder’s pretty comfortable with the level of gay currently going on.

***

Ryder’s not sure if Jake’s mom is really to thank for this. Supposedly the reason the heat is on full blast so late in the spring is because she’s got circulation problems and can’t retain her own warmth. That Jake’s constantly overheated is just something Jake’s gotta deal with. In the Telling The Truth column are the sheer number of ice packs and various and sundry frozen treats in the freezer. Ten different kinds of Popsicles make a decent compromise. In the Totally Lying column Jake is laying on his bed in only a pair of underwear which makes his semi completely obvious. This far into what they have, Ryder’s seen even more transparent excuses for fooling around.

“So I was thinking about rescinding the no blowjobs rule.”

“Oh yeah? You wanna blow me?”

“What? No. I was thinking you should blow me.”

Ryder laughs and flicks his thumb on the joystick a few times. He likes to switch his character as often as Jake will let him between Smash Brothers battles. “Don’t you think it should be me rescinding the rule then?”

“Shit. I dunno. I guess, nevermind, shit. Never mind.”

Damn it. The three seconds of enjoyment Ryder got from that backpedaling was not nearly worth the tightrope he has to walk now. The truth is Ryder’d love to blow Jake. Blowjobs are in practically all the porn he streams, and he’s felt its absence as much as he’s felt the absence of actual fucking. More, even. Ryder’s gotten blowjobs, he has something to miss. He’s never gotten fucked. But if he just takes the rule back without putting the right spin on it, Jake’ll wonder why he’s committing to dick in the mouth so easily.

“I’ll do it if you do it.”

“Huh?”

“Fuck off, _huh_. It’s not hard to understand. I’ll blow you, but only if you blow me.”

“Uh,” Jake trails off.

“Your choice, dude. How much you want a blowjob?” Ryder smirks a bit, then flicks to the ice climbers. It’s a good choice for battle against Jake’s Meta Knight.

Jake’ll say yes. Ryder’s sure of it. Maybe not by the end of the night, and maybe not tomorrow. But by the end of the week they’ll be sixty nining.

***

Jake reaches out for a discarded sock. He spits his mouthful of come into it, and then uses the still clean band at the top to wipe the drool off his chin.

“Was that good? That was good, right?”

It makes Ryder feel like a complete asshole that he’s sort of liking this vulnerable side of Jake. It’s pretty damn rare, and a nice change from the swagger he’s come to realise is just a normal Puckerman trait. And the fact that he has to be extremely careful on how to return his friend back to equilibrium is another dent in his afterglow. But Ryder can deal.

“Dude. Of course it was good. I came in your mouth. I don’t just randomly deposit come whenever I feel like it. Like it’s not like ‘oh, it’s three thirty, I should come now’.”

Jake snickers. “Yeah. I can see how the librarian would be pissed off if that happened.”

Ryder can’t tell Jake that his first blowjob was perfect. He can’t tell Jake that _he_ was perfect. He certainly can’t tell Jake that it made him fall in love with him just a little bit more. What Ryder can do is make him laugh, and subtly make him feel safe. Six months from now Jake might want to try some not-gay anal play. Ryder can totally imagine Jake saying something like ‘straight guys get girls to peg them, it’s not your fault you have a dick’. A year from now Jake might realise that making out for three consecutive hours might just mean he is in fucking love. Two years from now, Jake might feel safe enough to say it. Ryder’s playing the long game. He can wait until Jake says it, he doesn’t need to take it from him.

*

God money I'll do anything for you  
God money just tell me what you want me to  
God money nail me up against the wall  
God money don't want everything he wants it all

\- Nine Inch Nails, “Head Like A Hole”


End file.
